Boxing Day is not the only test in town

When one thinks of Boxing Day in Melbourne, it generally leads to discussion about cricket. Why is that? Well, the Boxing Day test match in Melbourne has become one of the biggest annual events on the sporting calendar.

That’s right, as soon as Santa Claus has done his deliveries, the family has caught up for Christmas lunch, and all the presents have been opened, then cricket is quickly on the mind of many Australians.

But now there is a new contender in town. The 27th of December in Melbourne will now see a rival cricket match being played: the Hearing Test Melbourne.

Why has it been dubbed the Hearing Test Melbourne? Well, the organisers are not very confident in it, and they think that in trying to compete with the traditional Boxing Day test across the road at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, they may struggle to even be heard.

The MCG match is usually a deafening affair with over ninety thousand spectators in attendance. The Hearing Test is expecting a few dozen friends and family to be in attendance to watch a group of fairly unskilled and untalented cricketers apply their trade. It is also being played just across the road in a park, where the neighbourhood dogs are realistically expected to make more noise.

“In hindsight,” says the test organiser, “we probably haven’t put as much thought into the idea as we really should have. For starters, we have assembled some of the worst cricketers the country has ever seen, and put them on a stage at the exact same time as the biggest match of the Australian cricketing year.”

Unsurprisingly, tickets for the event are still well and truly available, and the event is not expected to sell out. The organiser declined to make any further comment.